This just might be the most crucial chapter ever written. I am completely serious.
Not only does it stick with your child for the rest of their life, but it also reflects the type of parent you are. So again, it's very, very crucial.
It's best to begin early. Before your little bundle of joy and poop arrives, you'll probably give it a nickname. This is fine. I know some people who are pregnant now who refer to their unborn children as "Boogie," "Stink," etc.
These are not fine.
Love your children, people. Even from the womb.
Once the kid is actually born, PICK A GOOD NAME. I have a story for you...
I had a teacher in high school, whose former student's brilliant mother named her Shithead.
Shithead.
Say that how YOU think, but it was actually pronounced "Sha-teed." Shithead's mother is such a smart shateed.
Pick a good name, folks. Preferably something beginning with "J" and ending with "ackie."
"Quinn" is also a good name. Because you can't tell if it is a boy's name or a girl's name, that person will go far in life...
ReplyDeleteit's time to update this nonsense, jackie fisher! how are you supposed to make a book with only 3 chapters? as your self-appointed publicist, i demand 2 more chapters by next wednesday.
ReplyDeletekthanks,
sarah
p.s. this one's in all lower case! maybe next comment i'll decide to be grammatically correct.